Problem Books

Sometimes, life is just hard.
This is what I tell Child No. 2, who is the one who seems most in need of comfort after a day of school. There are, of course, the usual odd assortment of bumps and trials, and then there are the recurring ones. Each child has her own, of course, but for Child No. 2, the big ones seem to be:
Fear of growing up
Fear of losing her teachers, parents
Dread of mean girls
Fear of monsters (all kinds, including the little known but lately prevalent (to her) idea of fairies-gone-bad)
I’ve tried to compile a group of books that helps these in some way, and it’s been tricky. Books you think might work, don’t (they make you feel worse, because the kid in the book solved the problem while you didn’t); books about monsters turning out to be nice after all get rejected out of hand as too scary; and some books they just refuse to read altogether, apparently smelling a rat in a too-obvious title (How Nancy Learned Not to Be Afraid of Dogs!). And then there’s the whole problem of things backfiring. Like when I told someone about The Boy Who Cried Wolf, and then had that someone spend the rest of the day running around the house and crying “Wolf!” and then laughing hysterically.

So what does work, at least sometimes?
Well, here are a few of the ones we rely on. Note: these categories are really embarrassingly random.

For feeling afraid of getting older and wanting to stay a little kid, we appreciate Little Gorilla. This is pretty much made for little kids (up to 5 or 6 or so) but we here have a 7-year-old who appreciates its message mightily.

For when someone in your class is teasing a fat kid, or you are the fat kid getting teased, or you just want your child to understand that “fat” is not synonymous with bad, there is Bigger Is Better. (Sorry, I couldn't find the link or the book in my house. And let me tell you: don't google this title, because you will be washed away in a river of p*rn, and not the Cobble Street Cousins type). This is more of a YA novel, told first-person, from a girl who is big and wishes everyone would let her be herself and think about something else for a change.

For generalized anxiety (dogs, water, swimming, you name it), Otherwise Known as Sheila the Great made one of my children endlessly happy, just the relief of knowing there was someone like her. Judy Blume is some sort of mad genius with her books, able to reach out and speak a truth that kids connect with so viscerally. We read this aloud to our nervous at-the-time-6-year-old, and it was unadulterated joy.

For the deep hatred and despair that come (for some) with the arrival of a new sibling. We found the brilliance that is Bear and Roly Poly at the bottom of a bin at a church book sale, and I don't even know why we took it home with us, but boy am I glad that we did. It pulls an amazing power move by casting the little girl as the mommy, and her favorite toy bear as her child. The new baby's role is played by a new toy, a GIANT panda, far, far bigger than Bear, her original teddy bear. The physical representation of the interloper as overwhelmingly larger, louder, and more alien seemed to reach some intense inner core of pain for our older one, and she really grasped onto the whole thing, including the welcoming of the Other into their world by the end. It's pretty high on the pastel-pretty things-little girl scale, but I know more than a few boys who have felt its touch on their hearts just as surely as my girl did. It was just intensely healing. Go figure.

I will try to think of more of these (and then, of course, there are the nonfiction ones) and put them in another post. Are there any books that have saved you?


What they're reading now.
Child No. 1: Warriors Field Guide: Secrets of the Clans This series is so nutty, sure to be the subject of some future post. This book is like a guidebook to all the cats and their relationships.
Child No. 2: Little Town on the Prairie We're just about to get to the minstrel show, which is so amazingly disturbing.